Why do I feel miserable if I was happy to get out?

My husband was a porn addict, pathological liar, controlling, narcissist, joined at the hip with his parents. I am glad I got out of that relationship that made me miserable, depressed, scared and frustrated. I think it was a good decision, and everyone I have spoken to about this has validated this as a good decision.





Why, then, do I still feel miserable? I moved out 2 months back, I was only married for a year and half and knew him for a year and a half before getting married. I still cannot function well at work, I keep falling behind, which further decreases my already low self-esteem. I sleep a lot and eat whatever I want, I don't exercise, I am essentially not taking care of myself. I go to the occasional outing with girls but most of the time I am by myself. I live in the midwest where the weather has been gloomy for weeks and I have seasonal affective disorder, so that isn't helping either.





How do I get out of this rut? Am I going to be this miserable forever? I don't have enough enthusiasm yet to move to a new place, make new friends, set up a new life. What are small things I can do to make myself feel better on a daily basis?Why do I feel miserable if I was happy to get out?
Exercise! It's a must and you KNOW it!!


Get yourself eating better starting tonight!


No more of the POOR ME talk... tell your friends you need their help; don't let them let you indulge you in it.


Pick the one of your friends with the most solid common sense and when you need a Kick-in-the-Pants talk, have it with them -- or get into therapy for a few sessions. It'll do you a world of good.


Pick up a new hobby if you can. Something you can focus on through the winter: with a group that will hold you accountable would be GREAT. The winter ';blues'; and your SAD are real. Be proactive against sliding into a deeper 'Blah' than you already are.


You WILL NOT feel like this forever, Honey.


It's good that you recognize that you need to take care of yourself... go out and do it. :)


Best to you!!!


xoxoxoxoWhy do I feel miserable if I was happy to get out?
Because the peace of mind that you have now is unsettling. You were almost used to the dysfunction and you have to recover. You will be fine. Just join a gym and start working out if you don't already. This does wonders for depression and low self-esteem, not to mention, you can meet new people. Try hard to keep focused at work because that's your livelihood. You won't be miserable forever, you just have to get your groove back!
You're still upset and it's understandable because you were married and I'm sure you loved him. You are probably thinking about all the good times you had with him and how you miss him. You need to get out and meet people. Do whatever it takes to take your mind off of the past. Join a gym, volunteer or take classes at a community college. Stay strong and you'll get through this.
You need to go on an antidepressant temporarily. You need to talk to a doctor about the way you feel, he will proscribe you one. You most likely are depressed because you feel you won't find someone. Not taking care of yourself just adds to that feeling. You must force yourself out of this rut. Make yourself do things. You will be ok. I promise. Everyone has low times.
It's natural. It's the 3rd step out of 6.





Let it pass. It will pass. I had an ex who tried to get me beat up twice and I still think on some days I love her.
you feel miserable because you got him started on all the bad habits and you still have the bad habits and now getting out of that rut will be tough, your friends will have to be strong or you will ruin them just like you ruined your husband
Because it's still fresh and new. Give it some time for you to find your new life and you'll see the split was well worth it.
You need to figure out why you did not see this before you married him.


You should do this so you don't make the same mistake again.
You making me depressed...
It takes time to heal all wounds, you might want to contact a counselor!
Even though you were wise enough to get out of this terrible marriage, there's still a period of sadness that you have to deal with. You married this man with good intentions. You wanted the marriage to work and I'm sure you tried in every way to save it; but it just didn't work. This is what you're feeling sad about. You have to understand that you married the wrong man. It's unfortunate, but it's just that simple. A lot of women marry the wrong man and they get out of the marriages, just as you did. Don't punish yourself for making an honest mistake. Be thankful that there are no children involved and it's a clean break.





Get plenty of rest while you're going through this period of sadness, but also start taking better care of yourself. You've done nothing wrong and there is no reason why your self esteem should suffer. You did the right thing, the wise thing to get out of a bad situation. You can feel good about yourself for having the courage to do so. You're a beautiful flower. Know that about yourself. Also know that Mr. Right is waiting to love you with all of his heart. Concentrate on getting yourself back together for him. You can feel just as sad while you're doing your exercises. In fact, a few good sit ups might even drive the sadness away. Best wishes to you.
Volunteer, it is the best way I know to get out of a pitty party and back into life. A retirement home is a great place because most of that generation has already been through what you are going through. You can go to a food pantry or soup kitchen. It helps others and you are also helping yourself. Tons of places need volunteers. You can go as often as you like. If you don't like one place volunteer at another. The posssibilities are endless. You are needed there and it will make you feel great. Good luck.
You're not going to feel this way forever, I promise. It was six months after I left my first husband before I stopped crying myself to sleep. The only reason why I didn't crawl into bed and stay there for days was because I had a young child to take care, so I forced myself to get up and go to work and go through the motions.





Start remembering the things that made you happy before you met your ex and try to get back into them. If you can, get a puppy or a kitten. Do nice things for YOU. Little by little, the gloom will lift, I promise!