';Choosing to stay'; in abusive situations to move on to a better one?

Here's what I mean. I stayed with my narcissistic mom and step-dad (who had a history of being sexually abusive, but stopped) to save up money, focus on my education, and work on my mental health issues. When you grow up in an abusive home, you may have severe anxiety and depression that may make it hard to function on your own, especially when your parents trained you to be their puppet. Narcissistic parents don't want you to leave them. Going out there in the world when you're not mentally ready just didn't feel like the right thing for me to do.





Some people would tell me, ';How could you stay? Why can't you just leave ASAP? '; I was told that I was going to be just like my narcissistic mom, that it's my fault for being controlled, etc. My gut was telling me to slowly work my way out and take things day by day. While I wasn't living in the best environment, I tried to find the best ways of coping and reminding myself that I will be in a better place someday.





The truth was if I left ASAP, things would haven't been better. I probably would have ended up in another abusive environment, with more loan debt, I would have to drop out of college, or my mom and ex would do something to ruin escape plan and lure me back to move in with them again(Trust me, narcissists are GOOD at getting what they want). As someone who has worked in women's and homeless shelters, those places can be just as abusive. No thanks. There truly was no way out of my situation at the time.








I do live on my own now and am away from my abusers. I used my education to get a job out of state, and used my money that I saved to help me settle out here. Looking back, I think I did my best working with what I had. My life is great now, and I see ';staying with my parents'; as a bumpy road to get where I am today. All of the things that other people said to me in the past were wrong.





I don't believe people should be blamed, if they stay in an abusive environment. I feel like pressuring them to leave when they're not ready can make things worse.





Anyone been through the same situation?





.';Choosing to stay'; in abusive situations to move on to a better one?
first of all let me say well done to you i hope the future remains good to you, there is probably a certain amount of truth in your thinking, for certain problems are not solved by running away from them, as a young child i had a fairly rough time and chose to make my own way in the world just before my sixteenth birthday no money no where to go just the clothes i stood in and i was gone, it took me many years and a lot of mistakes before i began to settle, one thing i learnt early on there are no rewards or punishments in life just consequences.