Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Need serious advice about situation....please?

Hello:


I need serious advice about my boyfriend as he is a self proclaimed narcissist. We've been together for over a yr %26amp; half and live together. In the past we've overcome some narcissistic issues and he has realized how his selfish behavior has affected me and our relationship. He has been doing really well for a while, until last night. He slipped big time and probably had the most selfish moment of his life and it happened in front of his family. Anyways we talked and I told him he needs to go to therapy to overcome his narcissistic disease. I am feeling like I am exhausted dealing with his selfishness, but will do anything to make this work. He is asking that we do couples therapy instead of him doing individual therapy. My question is will he ever change? Should I stick around? Should I go to therapy with him. I want a future with this man, but I'm feeling let down. Please help with experience or advice and thanks. :)Need serious advice about situation....please?
what happened?





i think he should do individual therapy and then you should do couples therapy if he still wants to, but since he's the one with the problem, he should be the one getting the therapy!





you are so sweet to stay with him through this. try to make it work but if he doesn't change after therapy, I would leave if it really bothers you.





God bless and Merry Christmas! I hope everything works out!Need serious advice about situation....please?
Without him overcoming HIS Narcissistic tendencies, you won't have any chance of a better relationship. Just coming to accept it from him ';That's just the way he is'; will kill off your very soul, and give him ';permission'; to continue the behavior. If he isn't willing to change HIMSELF you can't fix this, couples counseling or not.


';If nothing has changed, nothing WILL change'; Therein lies the greatest truth.
Why would you do ANYTHING to make this work? That doesn't make sense. If you don't like his personality and want him to change, YOU'RE WITH THE WRONG GUY! He already told you ahead of time he's narcissistic and you chose to keep him. He will NOT change. You can't polish a turd. Telling him he needs therapy will only fuel the fire. Congrats, out of seventy-quadrillion men, you chose the wrong one.
of course you should go with him,it's not just he's problem you are he's partner and you both need to be have counseling,so you know whats going on aswell but mostly to be support for him.


not all of us can help the way we are and who we are.i think its a bit selfish expecting him to go it alone.
Please leave. I am stuck in this situation, married with 3 children. Please leave for the sake of all of the women who are trying to get away from these abusers. You are free. We have to pay lawyers and go through custody battles. Those N's know how to spite us. Please leave.
narcissism isn't a disease its a disorder and there is hardly any therapy for it. you throw around with words that you obviously dont know the meaning of and that's just flat out silly.
couple therapy is definitely a good idea. TRY THAT for sure. if that doesnt fix the problem, leave him. there are plenty of normal guys out there that will give you an easier time. Ive been there.
If you must stay don't bring kids into the marriage. No sense in the kiddos suffering from their dad acting out or being stubborn then on top of it mommy getting frustrated daily... Get the drift?
since you really want to be with him and want a future with him i think you should just TRY therapy togther and see how it goes. hope that helps(:
There is no cure for narcissistic personality disorder. Read up on it.
I think you should pass on this one!


Imagine, having children with someone like that and really needing him!
what on earth are you doing with a man like this ...no he wont change wht makes you think he will
i am sorry to let you down.But if a person is selfish to his family who had cared about him since his birth,I don't know what kind of treatment he has for you in mind.Even if you continue with this guy thinking you will be able to change him as you want a life with him then its like your selfishness is higher then his.





Anyway on the lighter side i would suggest you take a chance go for the couple therapy.That way you will be able to great to the root cause of his behavior.May be some childhood experience made him the way he is today.God Bless you both

1 comment:

Unknown said...

I lived with A Narcissistic Man for 2 1/2 years. I thought he was the Love of My Life! I stood by his side while he was in jail for 3 months. I helped his company, I drove him around for 2 years while he had no licence, I invested so much emotionally into the relationship! I ignored the RED FLAGS at the beginning. His violent ways, his aggression, his cruel putdowns about me claiming always that he was "kidding". The emotional and verbal abuse started taking it's toll on me.Then came some physical assaults! I started suffering from Panic attacks mainly, from feeling like I was "Walking on Eggshells". It took me 6 times of breaking up and making up until one morning that we got into yet another argument from him trying to push my buttons. I decided that No one in this World was worth me losing my sanity over! I left him 5 weeks ago and went Completely NO Contact. Best thing I ever did! I still am going through the Healing process and I still have him on my mind almost everyday. I am soooo much happier now! The panic attacks have stopped and I feel like I can breathe again! Trust me, Leaving him was hard, but staying with him was like slow torture! Please get away from these Narcissist/Psychopaths! I beg you!

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