How do I handle Christmas with estranged parents?

The backstory on this is that my mother has been diagnosed as a narcissist by a professional; no matter what people do, she cannot be pleased. She has the habit of accusing my wife and I of not showing the proper reverence to her on holidays...months before the holiday even happens. We have never not included my parents and have always lavished them with gifts and attention. Her behavior had become increasingly more accusatory until August, when my phone call and card on her birthday was not up to muster. Since then, she and my father have cut us out of their lives. The question is, how do we handle the upcoming holidays? Do we send gifts and cards even though they will be thrown in the trash (this has happened before when they were displeased)? Do we invite them to our house even though they won't come (they live an hour away and haven't visited in 2 1/2 years)? Do we drop in on them? Do we do nothing? Thoughts?





I know people will read into the situation and accuse me of being a bad person. I appreciate all opinions, but am most interested in opinions on how to handle the holidays.How do I handle Christmas with estranged parents?
i would send cards, and an invitation.


if you know they won't come anyway,


don't really plan on them being there,


just send the greeting out of politeness.


if you don't want to waste the time and money,


just do nothing,


since it won't really matter anyways.


merry christmas and good luck.