How to deal with a mind playing mother?

How do you deal with someone who constantly seeks attention, and plays mind games with everybody she is around? Ever since I can remember my mom has been very in need of attention. She always wants people to feel sorry for her, she likes to play the victim. My whole life she has told me that I am ';crazy';, and that I am the one who needs help.She likes to go around telling people how hard of life she has and how ';difficult'; her children are, when in fact she has a very good life. She is VERY good at getting people to believe her, and to pity her. When I turned 15, I started to believe that just maybe I really was crazy, and went into therapy. Well..after years of therapy, all of my therapists have told me I am indeed pretty much ';sane';, and my mother in a narcissist. (Their words not mine). But she continues to harass me, and try to bring me down. When I finally do get to a breaking point, I snap back at her, and this only causes her to think she ';proved her point'; on me being the ';crazy'; one. When In fact any human would break after living with her. I am working on moving out as soon as possible, but in the mean time how can I deal with her. It makes me sad, that I can never have a healthy relationship with this women, she makes my life a living nightmare.How to deal with a mind playing mother?
Don't deal with her.





Get another part time job and stay away from home as much as possible. One way to do this is to sign up with a temp agency. Tell them you are only available for part-time assignments in evenings after six or something like that. See what comes your way. a





Make some friends, and visit them at their homes in the evenings, or even sleep on their couch. When you are at home, stay in your room, and avoid visiting with your mother as much as possible. When you speak to your mother, keep your conversations STRICTLY on non-personal subjects, like the weather. If she starts talking about something that you know from experience will lead to drama, then stop it right there. You have some options:


- ignore the conversational gambit and turn the conversation back to the weather.


- look her in the eye and say firmly, ';I am not going to discuss that subject with you';


- make and excuse and leave, such as ';I'm really tired. I'm going to bed.'; or ';Excuse me. I need to go to the restroom';.


- actually leave the house for a while. Say, ';Oh gosh. I forgot I have to run out to the drug store.'; Then get in your car, and go find a quiet place, like a park or a pub, where there is no one to start drama with you.





The trick here is to accept what you cannot change (your mother's addiction to drama), and change the thing that you can change (your availability to participate in drama) -- this is part of the SERENITY prayer. Does't that sound nice? -- and recognize the moments where a small action on your part can alter events in the way that you prefer.





Best Wishes and Good Luck.





Be very, very consistent with this strategy. NEVER let your conversations wander off into the drama zone. When they start doing that, that is your cue to excuse yourself.How to deal with a mind playing mother?
just dont talk to her she will realize how much she loves you and how much she needs you im not sure but if you spend a lot of time with her maybe she just needs some space
i feel your pain. i too, have a mother who constantlly seeks a pity party and tries her hardest to make us kids feel guilty. she's never accepted me for the person i am and emailed me last august saying that she disowns me until i start loving god again. she just doesnt understand my position on things like religion, politics, etc. and oh my god when i didnt call her on her birthday all hell broke loose. i finally called her a week afterwards to find out when my lil sis baby shower is and all she had to say was, why didnt you call me on my birthday, all the other girls did, you make me feel like im unwanted and not loved. now, this pity party may work on my sisters, but not me cuz im not a kissass. and when i told her that i just merely wasnt thinking about it, she says, no, you werent thinking of me. thats when i said dont sweat the small stuff and birthdays are for kids anyways and if you make a big deal out of it when youre an adult your just self righteous, so when you figure out when the baby shower is give me a call. she said whatever and hung up on me like a teenage girl. you know how i deal with it? limit my presence from being around her. i think ive seen her a total of five times this past year and we live fifteen minutes apart. its just unhealthy for you to be around that stress.
i have a friend like your mother, exept he has no kids, he is rlly obnoxios and only talks bout his problems so that evryone can feel sorrry for him, but me and my other friends dont, we kno he just wants attention but we just ignore him and tell him to talk about somethiung else becouse no1 likes talking about unpleasent things or to feel sorrry for you, and he dosent have a bad life at all! but just tell your mother how you feel, i always tell her how i feel, your not the crazy one, she is, dont beleve a word she says, obiosly she is the one tht is ';crazy';
ignore her dear girl.


i have a mother like yours she has been the attention seeker and is always jibing at me even in front of all others to prove my worthlessness and she is a firm believer that i shouldn't have been born.


still i would say stay clear from any conversation with her and spend minimum time in her presence as minimum as possible.


please don't be depressed or upset by her behavior towards you as she doesn't deserve your tears,for those who deserve your tears will never hurt you in anyway so as to make you cry.


just find your own happiness and be happy leave her to her own means and get out of that place asap.