How can I deal with my family and try to help them out?

First, let me paint a portrait of my family:





My nephew鈥?is being neglected, and is developmentally behind schedule.





My sister鈥?is a narcissist who openly brags that she enjoys emotionally tormenting others. However, she can mask this with a friendly face when it benefits her. She is absolutely the filthiest person I have ever known- she will allow things to rot in her home before she will take out the trash. She neglects my nephew and leaves him in his room, she doesn鈥檛 bathe him everyday. She refuses to call my Dad even though she knows he loves her and wants to hear from her, she won鈥檛 even bother to say hello to him when she is in the neighborhood. She insults me, mocks me, and tries to undermine me at every turn.





My brother in law鈥?is arrogant, evasive, and most likely has an eating disorder. He is also filthy and most likely mentally ill. He has hit his own father, curses out his brother and mother, and my father as well.





My father鈥?is always convinced that his way is right. He is just about the hardest working person I know, but also has one of the shortest tempers of anyone. He thinks he knows everything, but he loves our family with a passion that cannot be questioned. It breaks his heart to be unemployed and unable to provide for the family, and most of all, it breaks his heart to see my sister abandoning the ideals he raised her with. Just today, he mentioned that he may stop taking his medicines and commit suicide that way. He says my mother and I are the only bright spot in his life.





My mother鈥?is so stressed out she is almost at the breaking point. She is a classic martyr, taking everything upon herself and returning to school to earn a degree after raising two children. She takes everyone鈥檚 struggles upon herself to the point that she suffers just as they suffer. She is a saintly person, though I do not deny that she has her faults.





Myself鈥?I am a college student, I love to hang with friends and when I am at school, I can forget about all of my home problems. Thankfully I have not fallen into drugs, I want to work in law enforcement, I want to play soccer at the state college I鈥檓 about to transfer to, I have overcome a learning disability to get into college and am graduating this coming June. I have my faults for sure, I will not even try to lie- I am jealous, I am competitive, I can be impatient. But I try to consider others.





I almost feel guilty for being happy while the rest of my family suffers and struggles. How can I help them? How can I make this family work? Or is there nothing for me do, and I should just go on and live my life?





Please help me- I'm not looking for pity, I am looking for advice, and anyone who has come from a similar background, I want to hear your stories.





Thank you so muchHow can I deal with my family and try to help them out?
talk to hereHow can I deal with my family and try to help them out?
We cant always help every one we would like to.There is so much dysfunction in our word today.Do what you can,But remember you probably not qualfied to help,if you get to wrapped up in there dysfunction you will become dysfunctional yourself.


Love the unlovable and forgive even if they haven't asked for forgiveness, this takes great stength, but it will make you strong and keep you sain.





BT
I do not know what can cure your family. I do not question the views you have of them as I do not know you, or them. I does seem possible that you do not know all the inner thoughts and motives of those around you and perhaps your preception of them is different from how they see themselves. That is true of most of us, we only see certain pictures of each other, and can struggle to see the truth. You are awakening to the struggles that all human beings face. It is the human condition to struggle with our many difficulties. Some are defeated, some go on fighting even knowing the end result will be bad. And there are victories here and there. There are heros, and jerks, it's called a family. You can only determine your own destiny, love your family with all the imperfections, as I am sure they love you. That is all you can do, and place them in the hands of God in prayer. Help when you can, and love all past all circumstances and weaknesses.
you sound like such a sweet sweet girl. sadly, i think you cant tell people how to live their own life, so make yours fantastic, and try to help out when you can by giving him money, buying things they need, and visiting and comforting the people that you care about the most it sounds like, your father, mother and nephew. im sorry you are going through this. x