How do I end a friendship with a selfish narcissist?

I've realized that I've been friends with seriously NPD guy and I've been giving him the benefit of the doubt on all the very insensitive selfish things he's said to me in the past, such as: You are not a priority...I did that for him and not you because he is a friend of mine and he didn't ask- you did....Myriad messed up things....In this case, I have been very good friends with his elderly mother who he lives with, and I have helped them out for years with her aging issues...Now, my father is in the hospital. He fell down the stairs and broke his neck. He's in intensive care now and i've been living at the hospital and very upset.The other night I saw this friend out at our club, when I stopped to have a drink and hopefully find a friendly face to sit with after the hospital, and he didn't even come over to ask how I am..He was picking up a girl and obviously- I didn't matter. In spite of the pain that he could see I am in..He knows he did wrong- he's called me 6 times in the last 24 hours- but he has not apologized-he's just left a message saying a trite, '; sorry I 'didn't have a chance' to come over and talk to you the other night at the club';. HE did- he just didn't. I want this to be over. I am drained from his taking from me and giving nothing back. How do I end this? I have to. But I run into him all the time so I don't want there to be too much ugliness. I am sure he's going to end up being angry at ME for not returning his calls and once again it will be my issue. I am so done. Please help?How do I end a friendship with a selfish narcissist?
Reread your letter and wonder how you would answer if it was from someone else. You don't need an emotional black hole in your life now or ever. Sadly explaining this to him would be a HUGE waste of time and he would blame you for all of this. MOVE on now and don't look back, his comprehension of anyone's emotional well being is IMPOSSIBLE for him to consider.How do I end a friendship with a selfish narcissist?
Sounds like a serious loser.


If I were you, I'd tell it to his face. If you can't do it in person, then do it over the phone. Humble him a little.


It'll be ugly, but it'll be better off later. You'll shove him off in exchange for some awkwardness.
Just tell him what's up. Don't just stop talking to him, because he'll get mad. I know i would. Chances are, he's gonna start a rumour about you, but whatever man. Most people will be able to tell he's an idiot anyways.
Simple: stay away from him. Don't answer phone calls. Don't communicate in any way. Sure, he'll be angry, but who cares? If he's not your friend anymore, it shouldn't matter.
I'd tell him exactly that. I am sorry, I just don't have time for you anymore. you always take and never give back and I am tired of this one sided friendship. Period.
Just tell him flat out, that is the best way. ';Sorry, I don't think this friendship is getting anywhere. I don't want to talk to you anymore';.
Tell them exactly what you're telling us, no need to sugar coat it, being completely honest may help that person change and become a decent human.
I WOULD sugar-coat it because most NPD people are vengeful when anyone implies there's the slightest thing wrong with them, their world-view or how they do things. You don't want to get yourself on the receiving end of their spiteful and petty revenge-mindedness.





I handle the end of friendships with the silent fade. become unreachable. Don't answer phone calls or emails. If you have to see them every day, just be quietly cool and distant. Let them talk, but don't contribute. Show no enthusiasm for anything they say. Don't give them the approval and validation of nodding or agreeing with them on the smallest topic... the weather, the taste of food, you name it. Let them emotionally STARVE around you without ever once actively and openly dissing them.





I've had this work for me, and I think it can for you too.
of course he might be angry at you, he's selfish and self-centered and the world is all about him. you need to walk away. if you want some closure tell him politely that the friendship you have with him is unhealthy for you and you are done. if his behavior isn't supportive and like that of a friend, he isn't your friend. let is past behavior predict his future behavior. he's not going to change. spend time with other friends and your family. if you don't want to just walk away from his mother. call her or send her a card to say hello and check on her. you're adults and can have a relationship with her without him involved. but most importantly take care of you and don't hold the expectation that he's going to be there for you when you need him because he just might have something else going on that he won't be willing to walk away from (like hitting on some chick)
Congratulations..you have seen what he is.. If he is that narcissistic, it won't really bother him..he will feel it's your loss..not his. Just drop him like a hot potato..if you really don;t want to tell him how selfish and insensitive he is, just blow him off...if he ever really gets in your face..tell him the truth..without anger ..just tell him you realized that he doesn't care about anyone but himself and you just don't want to waste your time being a friend to someone who can't be a friend back.


The less time you spend being angry or hurt or dwelling on it, the better for you to move on and find real friends. Be glad to be rid of him..this type of person can never turn it around if they do..it doesn't last. It's too much work for them.


You can still see his mother..but try to plan on a quick stop by when he isn't around..be cordial if he shows up but cut out of there. You can also call her to check on her. Its not fair to turn your back on her cause of him. If this becomes too difficult, then of course you would have to cut your ties altogether. They can get help from someone else ...they may have to pay for it but they can get help. Good luck to you.
well, i had a very bitchy girl friend like that, and it was rough. at my school you stayed at the same lunch table, so i just kind of said, ';i dont really think you want me here anymore, so im thinking of switching tables.'; she was like sure i dont care, but then she gave me a hell of a time after that. once your in its gonna be tough, but just try to slowly drift apart.