How can he treat me this way?

My ex and I had been together about 2-3 years on and off. Half year into the relationship I found out he went on trip with friends including his ex but he came back and told me the truth so I forgave him. 1.5 years later I found out he was seeing his ex at the same time (this was from the ex contacting me). I still stood by him believing that he cared for me. All this while our relationship was semi-long distance. We are roughly 2 hrs away from each other and managed to see each other every weekend. I thought he changed because things were pretty normal although boring. Half a year ago he broke up with me because he found out he had to leave for training in Alabama (I'm in NY) for four months and it is no way to have a relationship especially since things weren't working out between us. He said he lost feelings cause things got boring when I thought that is how a healthy relationship usually is - being content with each other. I was depressed for 2 months (we still talked on the phone) and decided to cut off all contacts because I had enough. I was living my life for the next 3 months and I missed him. I'm not the type to burn bridges and hate things ending that way although I understand change is inevitable. I decided to email him to see how he's going - just like I would with any friend. After that he wanted to hang out and we end up seeing each other again. At the time he said he wasn't sure if hes leaving for the training anymore because of the budget. We end up seeing each other for another 3 months until two weeks ago he found out he is definitely leaving and had only 2 weeks to move out/drive 1,400 miles to Alabama, errands and work. I called him one morning and he got very nasty with me and said I'm ';up his ***'; all the time and he wouldn't see me before he leaves like he said he would a week before that. After that he refused to pick up my calls or respond to any of my emails, texts etc. I'm over being depressed about him 1/2 year ago because I know he is a jerk and it is obvious that he uses me for his convenience. What I can't get over is - how can someone treat me like this? Even after spending 3 years with the person who cared, how can anyone be this cruel? I hate to psychoanalyze him but I believe he is a complete narcissist. Can someone please help me understand. I know I'm very stubborn but it really bothers me. I'm on the verge of calling him again cause I want answers. Please help.How can he treat me this way?
I have a similar situation to you with my ex.





I don't think it is that you want answers. I think you know the answers, like I do, but you don't want to accept them, like I don't, and you think he is so unfair, like I think she is.





You tell yourself you want answers but really you hope if you maintain a thread of contact you can make it all right and be together again.





I don't think that will happen though, for you or for me.How can he treat me this way?
All I read was that last line, why didn't you do that instead of posting this stupid question? He apparently is treating you ';some way';, and you ask strangers why.
I didnt even read past line 2 to know that you need to leave him-


he is selfish, immature, doesnt respect you. raise your standards. get better-
if yu think over him, you wouldnt post this question. you wouldnt even care, if hes moved away, and on his own.
In my opinion. Its not him at all. It is you. You date someone who lives two hours away and twice find out hes seeing or is with his ex again, then his ex has to call you up to let you know, he ex man is around or whatever she said. Here you are just being ok with all of this, you call it standing by him, I call it, either lack of self respect, if that doesn't fit, a floozy, if that doesn't fit, someone who is not making wise decisions for some reason. Loneliness can drive you do accept this kind of relationship. I think you know, there was no relationship, maybe he was like showing up every few weeks, so he could play with someone other than his own spouse? Sound about right?


You really can find your own man, someone to call your own, this was not a relationship you were in, it was you simply servicing him. Howd I do, I think I am spot on. I wish you the best I really do, take care of you, noone else will.
Why are you still worrying over someone who obviously does not know how to treat you right? My advice: analyzing him and thinking and wishing he would change, is a one way path to nowhere. Tell yourself that you loved him but that it is time to move on. You deserve better.