Dealing with narcissist parents?

How do I deal with parents who constantly complain how hard their life is when they are retired and living a great life?





1) They don't want to hear our problems and


2) constantly say how they are suffering from the past (5-60 years ago)


3) Look for any inperfections or flags from me to just accuse us for some new 'incident' against them.


4) Blame us for their hard work (they only worked 20 years total) and how it was all for us.


5) Dramatize the slightest mistake and would dramatize it by yelling in front of our house and annoy the neighbors.





Just something as simple as telling the kids to go asleep, they would assume we are trying to kick them out.





Please help me to cope.Dealing with narcissist parents?
After a period of time relationships take on a flavour of their own and no matter how blatantly negative it may appear from the outside, it is something the relationship cannot see because it has survived unchanged for so long.


They are victims of their own creation.


So it may be totally unpleasant, but everything has purpose.


It may well be that by their actions you have learnt how not to be in this life in which case their methods of communication are your lessons in life, not your curse.


It is said that when God gives a gift it comes in the form of a problem.


Look at this and use this as a learning for your children in that it is a live experience in poor quality communication.


The most inaffective way to deal with this form of (abusive) communication is to Not Respond.Dealing with narcissist parents?
Wait a few seconds and you'll have stats from Single mom!
I don't what SingleMom was trying to do - seems the response is more than off target....


As for your parents - well they seems from what you wrote a little more needy than the average parent. I know what that can be like - my mom is that way too, more now than before she retired.


I would suggest that you set boundries - I don't what issues or problems you share with them and if after the ';my life is terrible and look at me'; whining is over with if they give you good advise. If nothing after the whining then I would say don't share personal things with them.


And when they go on about how they have given so much just look at them and say ';mom and dad I appreciate all that you have done for me in the past. I am sure that it was difficutl and hard work but that is what parents do.'; and leave it at that - if you keep feeding into their pity parties then they will keep doing it.


Set your boundries and when they cross them act - cut of the conversation with a simple statement that will end the conversation (don't be rude) and if that still doesn't work, leave or if they are at your house and they start the yelling, tell them that that may be acceptable at their house but not at yours and you don't allow your kids to act that way and they should not act tat way.


It is hard to become the adult you want to be when your parents treat you like a 4 year old and won't let you grow up.


Good luck!
OMG - poor you!! You know what, some people love to be miserable. no other way around it... Do they live with you?


or do you live with them? I would not let the negative personality become a pattern in my family, i would demand when around my children to have a better attitude and uplifted spirit, no other way around it.. I do feel for you.. that is not a good thing to be around alot.. My mother is negative about so much it is unreal... she is just a negative person...


But i wouldnt let her complain or talk that way around my 3 year old.. I would tell her, not to talk to negative around my daughter.. email me if u want to discuss further.. good luck..
Dude, these people you are describing aren't narcissistic, they're DEMENTED!! You need to move - far, far away. Oh - and get an unlisted number!! I feel bad for you, man. I hope you can get away from them soon.
Move away. Far away.
geeze they are old and ur parents just tell em what you think they want to hear to make em feel good and appreciated.
They need to live by themselves, not with you.
There are some online groups, go to MSN and look under their groups for help.
Ignore it. I worked with a lady like this. They just want attention. At the same rate though there is probably a reason they want attention. Make sure you are reinforcing positive behaviors and are including this parent in your life.