Is My Boyfriend a Narcissist?

(Please Don't answer unless you have delt with or know about N's, and an give me an educated or serious answer) I have been with my boyfrined for 1 1/2 year, When I first met him,, he was so sweet, and nice to me, we spent all of our time together,he took me and got me a promise ring, then very shortly after that he started to change, he would blow me off, not answer my calls, and as more and more time went by he still would not open up to me, he would put me down. He would talk to other women who where just his ';friends';, then I started checking his call logs, and he was calling singles chat lines, and texting girls, I would get upset, and he would be stone faced unemotional. I think also I'm co dependant. So it was a rollar coaster ride for a long time, I checked out his phone, and he told his babys mom he still loved her, and the reason he was getting a house with me is because he couldn't afford to live on his own. He convinced me I misunderstood. I asked him did he even want to marry me still, and he told me that he did. The very next day he told his he didn't want to marry me,. and he didnt know what he wanted, and she asked him if me and him wherent together would they be able to get back together, and his reply was maybe. His ex kept telling me that I was in the way of their family getting back together.But he swore up and down I was the one he wanted to be with. So we moved in to the new house, he never made any attempt top rekindle the relationship with his ex. Well he leaves at 9:30 a.m.at 9pm, I call him, he said he was at his friends house. So I come home the next morning, and find a recipt for a pair of rollar skates for $120, and I was like wtf, we are so broke right now. He said he went skating, and didnt tell me because he didnt want me to get mad because he didnt have me go with him. Well after going rounds he finaly told me that he went with a girl that works at the motorcycle place, and then they went to dinner, but she knows hes in a relationship, and they are just friends, and he didn't tell me because he didnt want me to get jelous. He said he wants to do it for excersise//So I looked past it... But after that every time we made plans he would say how tiered he was. But he waits till after I leave for work to go with her. I honestly don't know what to do I absolutly refuse to leave the house, or move out, and so does he, he says hes not interested in her like that, but I'm not stupid. Every relationship hes ever been in, in his adult life he has started a new relationship while hes still in one and cheating on his gfs. He was raised Johavahs Witness, and his mom I guess was not very emotionaly neurturing to him at all, she never hugged him and all that, and his parents where not effection toward each other. I guess they even seperated for a cople years, and got back together, but slept in seperate rooms, up until his father passed away. When he was 17 I guess he fell in love with a girl he lost his virginity to she , and I guess he would pour his heart out to her, and she was pretty unresponsive, she just up and left him, broke his heart, he didnt date any one for 4 years after that. He also has really low self esteem. His friends think the world of him. He told me that he thought he wasnt a good boyfriend,and I guess he worked for a man for several years, that was very controlling, and had a huge impact on his life, and his boss would take advantage of him alot. And had several gfs... So he thinks that maybe he had taken some charecteristics from this man. And he was treated for depression before. He said that when someone doesnt appreciate him, or he feels like they might leave he just goes all out, and he says he likes to be 1 step ahead. I'm in love with him, is he sabatoging his relationships because he doesnt want to get hurt, or is he really a cruel cold hearted narcissist?Is My Boyfriend a Narcissist?
First of all you need to create a few paragraphs so people can actually read what you write and not go blind. Yes, I have read it all. Do I think he is a Narcissist? Not at all, do I think he is using you, definitely.





You have the proof in front of your eyes, instead of trying to diagnose him with some condition he does not have just wake up and realize he doesn't want you and move on.Is My Boyfriend a Narcissist?
OK I haven't read all of that because it is so badly written, but from what I can gather the answer is no, in the psychological sense of the term, he is not a narcissist at all.





He just doesn't love you.
can't understand your story..
he doesn't seem exactly narcissistic as you say.


he has other issues, no doubt.


but he's not being abusive in the verbal and physical obvious sense and stuff.


its true that narcissists are mainly men and those whose mothers didn't show them much physical love (hugs, carrying them, etc) while they were babies, young.


but your boyfriend had other problems. it seems like u...like the idea of the old him..what it could be like?


but ur gonna hv to admit it soon gal.... what you'll have is no relationship at all.


he's out of the house 9-9 straight.


u gotta focus on ur life now. do something u love and hang out friends. it always helps.


narcissists are normally people who project their own faults on to you. ..they'll make u feel like ur nothing when its entirely them. and narcissism is a Serious problem...just remember that u've gotta keep ur head firmly on your shoulders and trust in in ur common sense and what u feel.


never make excuses for ur bf by thinking...yeh maybe he is right...


if u think he's not, he's not.


i think u should definitely leave him honey. ur wasting ur life completely by being with him.


but one things for sure..he really isn't narcissistic.


there are no signs of that at all.


the true hard fact i think is that he doesn't love u.
He doesn't seem very nice, nor does he seem narcissistic.





Having low self esteem is a weird characteristic for a narcissist. Are you sure you meant narcissistic?





I agree with the poster above - some paragraphs would make that a lot easier to read.
Honey, you're asking the wrong question. Why does it matter whether he's N or not? Whatever the reason, he's being an a**hole to you, and you're letting him.





So the question is, what are you going to do about it?





Correct answers: 1) Get out of this relationship and 2) Never get into another one where you're being treated like this.