Need serious advice about situation....please?

Hello:


I need serious advice about my boyfriend as he is a self proclaimed narcissist. We've been together for over a yr %26amp; half and live together. In the past we've overcome some narcissistic issues and he has realized how his selfish behavior has affected me and our relationship. He has been doing really well for a while, until last night. He slipped big time and probably had the most selfish moment of his life and it happened in front of his family. Anyways we talked and I told him he needs to go to therapy to overcome his narcissistic disease. I am feeling like I am exhausted dealing with his selfishness, but will do anything to make this work. He is asking that we do couples therapy instead of him doing individual therapy. My question is will he ever change? Should I stick around? Should I go to therapy with him. I want a future with this man, but I'm feeling let down. Please help with experience or advice and thanks. :)Need serious advice about situation....please?
Your boyfriend can overcome his narcissistic behavior but it will take some time. Therapy would be great and perhaps you should go with him at first. The therapist will tell him if that is a good idea or not and might suggest he receive therapy by himself for a while. The fact that he is willing to go at all is a good sign. He must really think a lot of you. Sounds to me like you are both on the right path.





I wish you both my best.Need serious advice about situation....please?
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Can you change them? Reality check: No. Even constructive criticism is experienced by them as an affront and is met with anger and a sense of betrayal. Placating only results in more demands, not a return of thoughtfulness and consideration. In fact, if you always excuse or rationalize self-absorption and give in to constant demands, you are actually supporting and reinforcing their narcissistic needs and wants.
Most narcissists do not even realise they have a problem, so it is quite a step that he knows he has a problem. I think the best thing for both of you would be for him to do his own counselling, and for both of you to do some couples counselling too. There are things he will need to deal with on his own, but couples counselling will give you a chance to speak your mind in a moderated environment.





People can change, when they have motive to. It takes a while and will be hard for him. It will also be hard for you.





Boundaries are important in every relationship. So are goals. What do you want from him? What do you not want from him? If you have well defined goals for him, then it will be easier. For example, you might want to set an easy goal like doing one thing for you each week, like bringing you flowers or taking you to dinner somewhere you want.





The other important thing you can do is to decide what your limit is. Two months without improvement?